Manrules.
Know what to do and what not to do.
Violations can and will incur punches on your mancard.
Submit a Rule
In keeping with Ghostbusters protocol, there are manrules and manguidelines.
When a guideline gains the approval of the man community it becomes accepted as an inalterable truth and is declared a rule.
Man Rules
Always act as if all guns are loaded and all snakes are poisonous.
Submitted by Tom the Stout
When in the presence of a woman, a man must remain sober enough to fight.
Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
Never, never call another man just to chat.
Submitted by Chris the Hardy
You can never have too much money, too many tee shirts, or too many tools.
Submitted by Sam the Gallant
Man Guidelines
Men speak only if there is a reason to. If two men spend an entire day in each other's company and only utter three words, it's a sign of their friendship, not a sign that something's wrong.
Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
If asked to carry or hold a woman's purse, a man must hold the purse in one hand, arm outstretched, with the purse remaining at or below the waist. Under no circumstances may the purse straps be utilized around the man's shoulder. Ever.
Submitted by Chris the Hardy
Men may talk while exercising, but only if the discussion does not interfere with the workout. If one man is stronger or faster, it is his duty to end the discussion and leave the weaker man in his dust.
Submitted by Chris the Hardy
Men do not refer to what they are wearing as "outfits"; they are clothes, uniforms, costumes or get-ups, but never outfits.
Submitted by Tom the Stout
A man never removes a sweater or sweatshirt and ties it around his waist.
Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
You may, without permission, take the last beer or the last piece of pizza, but not both, that's just rude.
Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
A man never, ever, ever glances over his shoulder while standing at a urinal. Ever.
Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
Men should not cry during TV commercials that do not involve patriotism, sports, or kids with dogs.
Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
A man should not be capable of watching a televised sports game silently.
Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
If a man ever asks you your thoughts on the film "Running With Scissors" say nothing and run (after you stop laughing).
Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
A man does not consult instructions with fewer than two pages or with pictures and no words.
Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
It is never okay to apply sunscreen to another man's back, unless:
a) one or both of you have just raised a flag over Iwo Jima
b) you're using the spray-on kind
Submitted by Chris the Hardy
Two men may talk while in the restroom, but only if both are doing the same thing (sitting, standing, or washing hands). Otherwise, no acknowledgment of the others' presence may be made.
Submitted by Chris the Hardy
A man should never wear pink, mauve, or chartreuse golf shirts unless he's over 6'3", weighs at least 200 lbs, has a waist no larger than a 34, and can drive the ball at least 325 yards.
Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
Men do not chat. We talk. Men do not jog. We run. And men do not thirst. We simply hydrate.
Submitted by Chris the Hardy
Did we miss an important rule?
Contribute to the braintrust. If your rule is accepted, you will be compensated with manpoints.
Suggestions?
Any ideas for things that would better the lives of men everywhere? Drop us a line. Good suggestions will be rewarded with manpoints. Obviously.