Manrules.

Always act as if all guns are loaded and all snakes are poisonous.

When in the presence of a woman, a man must remain sober enough to fight.

Never, never call another man just to chat.

You can never have too much money, too many tee shirts, or too many tools.

Men do not pout.

Don't eat a meal at restaurants with the word "tea" in the name.

If asked to carry or hold a woman's purse, a man must hold the purse in one hand, arm outstretched, with the purse remaining at or below the waist. Under no circumstances may the purse straps be utilized around the man's shoulder. Ever.

A man does not ask for directions before he gets lost.

Men speak only if there is a reason to. If two men spend an entire day in each other's company and only utter three words, it's a sign of their friendship, not a sign that something's wrong.

Men may talk while exercising, but only if the discussion does not interfere with the workout. If one man is stronger or faster, it is his duty to end the discussion and leave the weaker man in his dust.

Men do not refer to what they are wearing as "outfits"; they are clothes, uniforms, costumes or get-ups, but never outfits.

Two men may under no circumstances split a meal.

A man never removes a sweater or sweatshirt and ties it around his waist.

You may, without permission, take the last beer or the last piece of pizza, but not both, that's just rude.

Men do not make Twilight references.

Men should never share an umbrella.

A man never, ever, ever glances over his shoulder while standing at a urinal. Ever.

A man should not be capable of watching a televised sports game silently.

If a man ever asks you your thoughts on the film "Running With Scissors" say nothing and run (after you stop laughing).

A man does not consult instructions with fewer than two pages or with pictures and no words.

A man should never wear pink, mauve, or chartreuse golf shirts unless he's over 6'3", weighs at least 200 lbs, has a waist no larger than a 34, and can drive the ball at least 325 yards.

It is never okay to apply sunscreen to another man's back, unless:
a) one or both of you have just raised a flag over Iwo Jima
b) you're using the spray-on kind

Two men may talk while in the restroom, but only if both are doing the same thing (sitting, standing, or washing hands). Otherwise, no acknowledgment of the others' presence may be made.

Men do not chat. We talk. Men do not jog. We run. And men do not thirst. We simply hydrate.

Men should not cry during TV commercials that do not involve patriotism, sports, or kids with dogs.

Take care of your back, teeth, and feet.

Men should never shave on Saturday.