Jokes for Kids
Let's face it, "dad jokes" have gotten a bad rap.
Here, we'll equip you with some humor that will more giggles and fewer groans.
Warning: some of them are pretty punny.
Submit a Joke Read the JokesRandomly Selected Joke
How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
You rocket!
Little Astronaut, Submitted by Sam the Gallant
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Contribute to the braintrust. If your joke is accepted, you will be compensated with manpoints.
All the Funny
Q: Which witch tastes the best?
A: The Sandwich. Of course.
Which Witch, Submitted by Tom the Stout
When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?
Because when you find it, you stop looking.
Obviously, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
Sleepy Dino, Submitted by Sam the Gallant
Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
Yummy, Submitted by Sam the Gallant
How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?
You rocket!
Little Astronaut, Submitted by Sam the Gallant
Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
Teddy Bear Hunger, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
Placement, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
What did one plate say to the other plate?
Dinner is on me!
Logistics, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
Q: A man arrived in a small town on Friday. He stayed for two days and left on Friday. How is this possible?
A: His horse's name is Friday!
Days of the Week, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
Did you know the squirrels were looking for you?
Yep, they think you're nuts!
The Squirrels, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
They don’t meet the koalafications.
Koalas, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
Duck, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones. But people in Abu Dhabi do!
Flintstones, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: “All 40 accounted for.”
“But I only have 36 sheep,” says the farmer.
“I know,” says the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.”
The Calculating Sheepdog, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?
A labracadabrador.
Canine Magic, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?
A coconut on vacation.
Riddle, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
Dill with it.
Pickles, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?
R2 detour.
Droids, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frost bite!
Cold Vampires, Submitted by Sam the Gallant
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope.
The French, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
What do we want?
Low flying airplane noises!
When do we want them?
NNNEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWW.
Airplane Noises, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
Polly Want a Cracker?, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho
Horse walks into a bar. The bar tender looks at him and says: "Why the long face?"
Horse Joke, Submitted by Tom the Stout
The Manly Art of Barbecue is not responsible for any unintended eye rolls accrued after telling these jokes.
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Any ideas for things that would better the lives of men everywhere? Drop us a line. Good suggestions will be rewarded with manpoints. Obviously.