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Manly men laughing at manly jokes.

Jokes for Kids

Let's face it, "dad jokes" have gotten a bad rap.

Here, we'll equip you with some humor that will more giggles and fewer groans.

Warning: some of them are pretty punny.

Submit a Joke Read the Jokes
Jokes Homepage For Men Mixed Company For Kids Snappy Comebacks

Randomly Selected Joke

How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?

You rocket!

Little Astronaut, Submitted by Sam the Gallant

Have a good joke?

Contribute to the braintrust. If your joke is accepted, you will be compensated with manpoints.

All the Funny

1

Q: Which witch tastes the best?

A: The Sandwich. Of course.

Which Witch, Submitted by Tom the Stout

1

When you look for something, why is it always in the last place you look?

Because when you find it, you stop looking.

Obviously, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

1

What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?

A dino-snore!

Sleepy Dino, Submitted by Sam the Gallant

1

Why did the student eat his homework?

Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

Yummy, Submitted by Sam the Gallant

1

How do you stop an astronaut’s baby from crying?

You rocket!

Little Astronaut, Submitted by Sam the Gallant

1

How does a vampire start a letter?

Tomb it may concern...

Punny, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

1

Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?

Because she was stuffed.

Teddy Bear Hunger, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

1

What has ears but cannot hear?

A cornfield.

Don't Say "a Kid", Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

1

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between us, something smells!

Placement, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

1

What did one plate say to the other plate?

Dinner is on me!

Logistics, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

1

Q: A man arrived in a small town on Friday. He stayed for two days and left on Friday. How is this possible?

A: His horse's name is Friday!

Days of the Week, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

1

Did you know the squirrels were looking for you?

Yep, they think you're nuts!

The Squirrels, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

1

To the guy who invented zero.

Thanks for nothing.

Zero, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

1

Why aren’t koalas actual bears?

They don’t meet the koalafications.

Koalas, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

1

I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.

Duck, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

1

People in Dubai don't like the Flintstones. But people in Abu Dhabi do!

Flintstones, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

0

After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep in the pen, he reports back to the farmer: “All 40 accounted for.”

“But I only have 36 sheep,” says the farmer.

“I know,” says the sheepdog. “But I rounded them up.”

The Calculating Sheepdog, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

0

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks?

A labracadabrador.

Canine Magic, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

0

What is brown, hairy and wears sunglasses?

A coconut on vacation.

Riddle, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

0

Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?

Dill with it.

Pickles, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

0

What did the Dalmatian say after lunch?

That hit the spot!

Dogs, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

0

What do you call a droid that takes the long way around?

R2 detour.

Droids, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

0

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Frost bite!

Cold Vampires, Submitted by Sam the Gallant

0

What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? Phillipe Phillope.

The French, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

0

What do we want?
Low flying airplane noises!

When do we want them?
NNNEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWWWWWW.

Airplane Noises, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

0

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

Polly Want a Cracker?, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

0

Horse walks into a bar. The bar tender looks at him and says: "Why the long face?"

Horse Joke, Submitted by Tom the Stout

0

What is fast, loud, and crunchy?

A rocket chip!

Space, Submitted by Anonymous the Macho

The Manly Art of Barbecue is not responsible for any unintended eye rolls accrued after telling these jokes.

Suggestions?

Any ideas for things that would better the lives of men everywhere? Drop us a line. Good suggestions will be rewarded with manpoints. Obviously.

Men Are Not Born Knowing How to Barbecue.

...but good luck explaining this to your buddies.

All are capable. Few are trained. Instead, we suffer through years of trial and error, snide comments from our buddies, and smug looks from our fathers-in-law.

This ends now. Here men share hints and hacks to help our brothers in BBQ impress others with their skills.

Grill on, brothers.


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